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The new breed of sugar daddies

By REHEMAH NAMUKOSE

As the most loathed category of men, the sugar daddies have reappeared on the face of campus fresh and reloaded. Back then, they were the most hated by every campus dude because they were stumbling blocks to any campus girl-boy relationship.


Once any sugar daddy had an eye for a chic, the chances of a campus dude winning her over were slim.

With their big wallets, big cars, admirable lifestyles, this was all a sure way of a campus dudette falling head over heels for any of them.

As years gone by, the sugar daddy concept disappeared and its reincarnation was in a much disguised form commonly referred to as cross generational sex. Many adverts and campaigns have been run about the phenomenon but then, the perpetrators just can’t accept that they are actually sugar daddying.

The fact that they have a six pack instead of a potbelly and are driving in a small Benz instead of a huge one, they think they are not reinventing themselves.

Now this new breed hangs around the younger girls especially the freshers pretending to guide them through the turbulent waters of life. Let’s see, if you have experienced the following in your relationship with that little cutie, then no doubt, you are one of the breed.

Do you find yourself calling her all the time just because – truth be told – you can’t understand her one-letter–word texts (c u/ m c u B)?

Do you find yourself squirming at tittles like ‘daddy’, ‘old boy’ as endearments or you can’t decipher some of the slang she uses like ‘wil hola’/’u click?’ then no question about it, your are just a new version of sugar daddies.

Paul, 45, was grumbling about how Rita’s English has become so complicated lately. He would say that she now uses ‘as in’, ‘you get’ kind of English… “Is it because you are now at campus?” Paul wondered; he can’t accept he is generations ahead of Rita’s English!

If you are still doubting, here is a another example, you don’t really enjoy clubbing and you’re the type that starts dozing off at around 9PM because you cant ‘click’ the Rihana/T.I lyrics, but since you have to keep pace with the little cutie swiveling on the dance floor till the break of dawn, you dance on.

You even question her night life and her dress code, the way any role model would be but no, you hang on, battling with challenges of the new generation you are trying to match up with. How you wished it were the Lingala days!

You are cheating yourself thinking you are not the then sugar daddy; the one who threw money everywhere. Fine, you don’t value money for a relationship but think again. How do you respond to ‘some AT pliz’ texts? (That 5000k might not be much to you).

To her, you are her financial solution. She is lowering your IQ to hers! ’bring me some supper’ texts on your way to her place are ways of getting that cash to prove to her roomies a point she has a financier. Mind you, supper has to be for all not only her.

Lastly, if you still can’t believe that you are part of the sugar daddy or cross generational sex group then here is the last illustration.

If she has only known M7 as president of Uganda and has no clue to what coups really are, then the two of you don’t belong to the same generation. So, where do you fall gentleman? That’s if you deserve to be one.


This story was first published in the print version of The Campus Journal in 2011